Range Rover SV Coupe: The Perfect Fit That’s Way Too Over The Top

Range Rover has just released their latest model, the SV Coupe. Yes, indeed it is a coupe version of their full-size luxury SUV. My first thought was, “why on Earth would anyone make a two-door version of an SUV?” And then of course I realized the all-too-obvious answer: Money. If Range Rover went to all this trouble to make it, they must know there’s enough people out there willing to buy it.

Perfect Fit

In a lot of ways, a Range Rover is the Perfect SUV. Since 99.9% of SUV buyers will never take theirs off-road, and since they are mainly used as a way to convince others of their superiority when compared to all other mobility options, what better vehicle choice than a full-zoot Range Rover? Sure, you could go with that Bentley thing, but isn’t that a little on the ostentatious side, old sport? The new Lamborghini what-zit? Come-come now. That’s an Italian car. No, the Range Rover is it.

Range Rover SV Coupe (European Model). Photo: Jaguar Land Rover.

Extensive & Personalized

And sure, you do get a lot, even with this demonstrably lame Range Rover SV Coupe. For one thing, it’s a limited-run piece. They are only making about a thousand of them. And, it’s a two-door, indeed the world’s first full-size luxury SUV Coupe. And since it’s a Rangey, and limited in numbers, they thoroughly went over all the appointments one will find within. Range Rover says there are “beautifully curated interiors” that “set new standards for materials and craftsmanship, with extensive personalization options for SV Coupe clients.” Curated. They really used that word.

Interior Treatments

The whole interior design option palette is right out of a Savile Row tailor. SV Coupe buyers (Range Rover refers to them as “clients” obviously since “buyer” is so nouveau riche and low class) can choose from any of four front-to-rear contrast interior selections. Rover (can I just use the single name?) calls them “colorways,” and I have no idea why. If the front-to-rear fade is a little too avant garde for you sir, there is also a range of single-tone interior colors from which to choose.

Of course, whichever you choose, they will be complemented by your choice of three elegant wood veneers, including a first for Range Rover, the Nautica veneer. Nautica veneer seeks to sensitively balance heritage and craftsmanship with new technology by fusing walnut and sycamore together. Obviously, this Nautica stuff might be too much for some buyers. Best to play it safe.

And if the interior is that dolled up, you can rest assured the exterior is just as affected. There are new optional exterior paint finishes named Liquesence (no, really) that join the “suite” (ugh) of available paint options. And yes, the paint names are as equally conceited and senseless: Constellation, Parallax, and Obsidian, along with Ethereal, Flux, Valloire, and Desire.

Power & Performance

On the upside of the balance sheet we find the engine. The SV Coupe is the fastest-ever, full-size Range Rover, so there’s that. This brick on wheels tops out at 165 mph, which is impressive given its shape. That top speed comes by way of a lovingly overpowered V8 plant: 557 horsepower worth of a 5.0-liter supercharged V8 powertrain lies beneath the big flat-ish hood. And that is, in case you’re wondering, the most powerful engine currently offered on the full-size Range Rover.

So you can blow your own horn about that tidbit too. This means the SV Coupe can hasten from zero to 60 mph in a scant five seconds. Pretty good for a truck that tips the scales at slightly more than the HMS Ark Royal.

Interesting References

And here’s an odd bit that jumped out at me from the company’s press release: “Noble Chrome metal side vents with Brunel Metallic mesh and Satin Indus Silver metal surrounds complement frameless doors with Power Close functionality and Bright Chrome embellished body color door handles.”

Brunel Metallic mesh? Is that a reference to ? They make no mention as to why they call some of the brightwork that, but it is a nice flourish and it’s probably a reference to one of the most interesting and oddest people England produced in the 19th century. And yeah, I’m including Jack The Ripper in that list.

Photo: Jaguar Land Rover.

Pricing & Availability

The SV Coupe will be hand-built at Range Rover’s SVO Technical Center in Warwickshire, UK, their in-house custom department. There will be no more than 999 examples available worldwide and they will start at $295,000 in the United States. $295,000! Cor’ Blimey!!

Tony Borroz has spent his entire life racing antique and sports cars. He is the author of Bricks & Bones: The Endearing Legacy and Nitty-Gritty Phenomenon of The Indy 500, available in . Follow his work on Twitter: . 

Photos & Source: Jaguar Land Rover.

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